Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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God is real.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops