I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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