What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Women's professional sports

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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