Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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