boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops