What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

If you just read this, You're dead.

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

Dude man, I'm high...

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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