What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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