Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops