Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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b

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops