Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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