There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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