Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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