Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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