Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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