What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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someone called someone else a frog

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Your girlfriend.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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