I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

69.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops