How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops