Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops