I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops