- Anti Joke

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: starts to laugh Yeah...that's a funny cup.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.