Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a. why? b. because I wanted

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops