A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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