Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops