Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops