Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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