did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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