Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Knock knock knock OCD

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops