what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Your adopted.....

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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