What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops