Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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