i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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knock knock who's there ?

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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