Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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