How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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