Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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