A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops