How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops