There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Why Because

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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No.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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