How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Lockerbie bombing

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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