What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jasper sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Well, this is fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops