Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

SPAMS!!!

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

My sister has to take a dump

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

AROUND

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

amy copied adams haircut :0

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

The size of Idris Elba's penis

GRAAAAAAAR.

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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