Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +72

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +72

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +58

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +50

barack osama

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +38

come along children

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops