why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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What time is it? 10:58

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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