A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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