Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Death by kayak

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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