What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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