I am a mime

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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