Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops