a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops