why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops