What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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dallen loves penis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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