Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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