Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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