Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops