Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops