Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Yes

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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