What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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