What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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