What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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What's just not right? Left

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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