Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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