A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Burp

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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