What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops