Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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My cat just died.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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