An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops