(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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