I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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NEVER

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Women's professional sports

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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poopy is poopy

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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