Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

poo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops