why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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