What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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I am a mime

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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