yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There was a chicken. It squarked.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -28

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Knock knock" Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops