Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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