What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many light bulbs? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops