Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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