How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Yes

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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