Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops