I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Take part of what?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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