Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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I'm rick james bitch

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops