What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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