A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops