What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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