Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops