How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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dallen loves penis

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops