And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Why? Because.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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