Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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