A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

A young baby died.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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