Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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guess what? bannanas

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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