Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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