Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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