Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops