Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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