How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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why dont they make black forks

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops