What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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