Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

thumb_up thumb_down -22

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops