A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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