I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops