Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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