Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

Half life 3 confirmed

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...