knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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