Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Golf.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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