Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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a

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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