what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

I think everybody should have a penis.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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