"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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