Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why? Because.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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1d

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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