Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Knock Knock Come in

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Once upon a time a was born

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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