Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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my penis

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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