A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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