Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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