what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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