Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops