How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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my penis

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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