How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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