How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Maths.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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