whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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