how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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