What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

Old, Asian, Woman who drive

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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