PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops