What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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bangers and mash?

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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