what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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drugs.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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