Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops