Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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