Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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