Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

The New York Giants

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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