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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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