"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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