Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops