What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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