What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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your so fat. your fat!

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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