Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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