Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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A man goes to the potty.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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