How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Frontbut-

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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