What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How you know when dislextic

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops