boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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