What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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