what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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