What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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