A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Dude man, I'm high...

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

knock knock go away

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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