How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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