What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was justin sad? his family was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops