A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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diarrhea.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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