What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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A pope meets another one

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops