What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Your mom.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops