A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My dog barks when someones at the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops