The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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