You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

hello

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

What's big and messy? A big mess

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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