So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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