Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Jovan

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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guess what what ...

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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