I think everybody should have a penis.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops