Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops