What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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a

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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A pope meets another one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops