A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Andoni was here

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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