- Anti Joke

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money