roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

Maths.

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

And now a word from our sponsors

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...