mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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