An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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this website is a bad joke

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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