Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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NEVER

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops