Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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