Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Jesus Christ

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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42

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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