Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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