FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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