Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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