Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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bangers and mash?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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