What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops