What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops