At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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My mom

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Read a Book.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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