Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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