- Anti Joke

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was _3_ my dog when a pornstar named (1) _(2)_ asked me how many times I can _(3) myself. I said _(5)_ times and the juice that came out of me was (4)___."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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