How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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