What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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