EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

A black man walks out of a police station

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...