In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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