what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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