Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops