What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Brain fart

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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