What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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