How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

An orphan falls off a cliff.

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

how do you call someone? use a phone

Get up Look in the mirror

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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