Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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