What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops