Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Yes

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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