A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops