What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -16

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops