How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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NEVER

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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