What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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