Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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