A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +5

u know whats a crime? rape

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +5

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops