A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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