Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Tunechi

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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