- Anti Joke

I'm Polish.

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops