My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What? Huh?

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A women left the kitchen.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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