Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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Do you play piano? No

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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