What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops