Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

You should read the Terms of Service.

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

I'm Polish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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