Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

you gay?

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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