There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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