why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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