Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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