Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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