Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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