Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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9/11

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops