Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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