What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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