What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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How old are you? 7

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Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops