What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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