What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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