what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do fat people commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -21

FUCK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops