why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Actually it was me Josh brown

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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