What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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