What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

25

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

Jovan

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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