Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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