Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

I love you

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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