How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops