A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

thumb_up thumb_down -11

someone called someone else a frog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops