Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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i'm hard

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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9/11 my birthday

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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13 =B you just learned something

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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