Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

So a baby seal walks into a club.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

a man checks his mypsace

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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