Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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