A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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womens rights.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops