Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops