- Anti Joke

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

quantum physics?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.