why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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