What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Take wrong turns

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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kieran is a homosexual

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i hate black people

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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White men's rights

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops