Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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