A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

an american walks out of a strip club.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

no

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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