What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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