pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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