Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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knock knock go away

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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