Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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this website is a bad joke

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops