What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

whats the stage after cancer? you die

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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