Potassium? K.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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