A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops