why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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