Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops