Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...