Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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sadf

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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