what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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I am a mime

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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