I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

24

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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