What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

Why are they the "living" daylights?

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...