So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +2

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops