What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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