baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Yellow People !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops