What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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