Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Once upon a time a was born

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops