What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

This is an anti-joke.

Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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