Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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