Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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