You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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pull my finger (farts)

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops