What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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