the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Where's the soap?

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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