What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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