Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops