Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops