Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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anti jokes are really funny

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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