Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops