Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red poo is poo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Get up Look in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops