Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

I have read the terms and conditions

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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