You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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