what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Democracy.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops