How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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I have a really funny joke.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops