Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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