A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops