What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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