The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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