A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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