It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Democracy.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops