What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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