Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops