Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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