What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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