A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a blind man walks into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops