Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Tucker Rivera

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops