Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

hi jonny

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

What is my name? I dont know

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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