What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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