I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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