What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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hi jonny

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops