Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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