A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

woman's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

Yes

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...