Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A person with OCD walked into a abr.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops