Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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SPAMS!!!

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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josh simpson has cancer

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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I won the game.

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AROUND

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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