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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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a banana

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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No.

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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