A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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