A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

come along children

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Women's Golf

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

amy copied adams haircut :0

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops