why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

GooglePlus.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

SPAMS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Kate

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +38

come along children

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops