In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

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Men's rights

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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