How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Black Poeple

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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I like to eat.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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