Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

Womens rights.

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

The chicken crossed the road.

Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

What's 6+2? 16

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

Knock Knock! Come in.

What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

A Jew returns change.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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