Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Why Because

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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does this look unsure to you?

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Exactly what?

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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jokes r dumb

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Jews for Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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