what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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someone called someone else a frog

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Your girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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