How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Who wants water? I do.

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knock knock come in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Donald Trump

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops