"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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