a

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

yolo your orange looks orange

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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