Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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