What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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all the kids had fun

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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