A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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A seal walks into a club.

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops