Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops