A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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