what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

A dancer walks into a barre

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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