A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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