civil rights

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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