Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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