How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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