Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

how do you call someone? use a phone

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

Knock knock! Just kidding.

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

how much fish could a chicken

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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