A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

Hej Erik och Leo!!

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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