What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops