What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Cripples are lame.

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Tony Romo

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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