the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Take part of what?

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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