roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

the WNBA.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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