How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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