A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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My Nan, that is all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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