What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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