Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

a blind man walks into a wall

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Denard Robinson

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

What's just not right? Left

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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