Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops