Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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rarw

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops