Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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