What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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