The holocaust

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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