How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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