What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops