Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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