Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you will like this because i am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops