CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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