There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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pobody's nerfect

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Andoni was here

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops