give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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