Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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