Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Maths.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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