Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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school homewrok

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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