Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Error 37.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops