What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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