What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops