i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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