Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops