what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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