A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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