What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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