what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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