So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops