Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

Steve Jobs is alive.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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