What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops