A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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cool

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Do you play piano? No

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops