How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops