Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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knock knock come in

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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