Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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My cat just died.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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i have two hands.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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