Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops