If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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someone called someone else a frog

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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