Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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