What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops