How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops