Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops