a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Jesus Christ

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops