Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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bite me

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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