There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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