What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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