What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +32

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where would canada be without nature? still here

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops