Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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