Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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My cat just died.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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