Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Communism hehe xd

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops