Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock!? . . No.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do u call a cripple Biv

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops