Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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My spelling is horrible

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops