Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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