how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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