Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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