Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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