Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Communism hehe xd

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops