A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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A lot eh?

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops