What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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