Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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