What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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your face

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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