Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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