Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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