Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops