Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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