How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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