I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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He--Hey guys

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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