roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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NEVER

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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