Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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