Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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