Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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