Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Communism hehe xd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops