A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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