What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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