a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops