A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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poopy is poopy

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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