Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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