What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

a person who will soon die of beeties

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Whats the defination of cruelty

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Donald Trump

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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