Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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