roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops