Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops