how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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