What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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