what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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