What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops