A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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womens rights

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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