Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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João Duarte reads this.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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