What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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