What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops