Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What's 1+1? 69.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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