Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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