What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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