There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Jesus Christ

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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