What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Happy Monday!

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America

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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eoin burgin is fat

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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