Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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