- Anti Joke

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops