Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Ross.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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