How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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