What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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My spelling is horrible

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops