Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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