Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops