A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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