- Anti Joke

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

What do you call a fat guy? A fatas mothafcka

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

What do you call a fat guy? A fatas mothafcka

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do you call a fat guy? A fatas mothafcka