Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Turkey Balls

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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