What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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