Knock knock... Home invasion

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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eoin burgin is fat

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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