What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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