Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

So a bar walks into a man...

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

Jovan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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