"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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A young baby died.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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i hate non minorities!

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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