really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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