Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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