How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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