What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

woman's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...