What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops