Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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knock knock Goodbye

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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