Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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