a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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my penis

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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