Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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My spelling is horrible

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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My cat just died.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops