What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Gus's mom

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops