Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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