what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...