what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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