Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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