How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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