Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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