Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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