What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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