what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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