- Anti Joke

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

[Insert anti-joke here]

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

My cat just died.

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLANTI-PICKUP LINEPOINTLESS INVENTIONSSPOILED PHOTOSYO DAWG PICSETHUGTXT CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Asked-you-not-to-do-chores-since-it-s-your-bday-complained-how-lazy-you-are-they-day-after-a31a09 SCUMBAG STEVE Awwbaby SHIT BRIX Haahhhah PORN SFW Meanwhile-in-the-midlands-ff3b8f MEANWHILE IN Derp DIY FAIL 6187 CAN'T BE UNSEEN Quotes From Other Sites “Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed....” via: Clarksonisms “Prius.” via: Pointless Inventions “The ability to taste only from your butt-hole..” via: Pointless Super Powers “Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs"......” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese.” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeAnti-Pickup LineClarksonismsethugtxtThings You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops