How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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95556

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops