A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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