A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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