What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A pope meets another one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops