What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Jovan

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops