What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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Cancer

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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