Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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