Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

knock knock Dave's not here.

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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