A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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I don't get it

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops