Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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