Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops