"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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24

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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