Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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I'm Polish.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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