How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops