What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Knock, Knock Come in

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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