Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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