Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...