Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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pobody's nerfect

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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bite me

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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