What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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