Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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