What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Frontbut-

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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