What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops