mmm i love marble bumhole

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i dont care if you rate me or not

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops