You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

Why did the fish fly It didn't

drugs.

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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