- Anti Joke

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

whats white and sticky? a white stick

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

There was once a man who lived in a box.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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