Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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