'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops