How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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