Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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