Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Read a Book.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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My mom

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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