Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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